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What's Wrong with Modern Marriage? CHAPTER VI Perhaps the question of divorce and remarriage is the most outstanding of all questions involved in marriage. The lives of many are entangled in the webs of this disastrous end to the marriage vows. Divorce has become a very common thing among the people of this age. No longer do men and women respect the sacred vows of marriage as they once did, nor do they feel the responsibility of the union as God intended. Much teaching should be given to this subject. Some seem to think that because God hates divorce, and He does, all causes for divorce are unwarranted and inexcusable for both parties involved. I do not believe any divorce frees both persons to be remarried, but to say that no divorce is acceptable under any circumstances is to go beyond the word of God. Let me keep before you the fact that in the dawn of time God brought together Adam and Eve in the first marriage union and intended that nothing but death should break the union. A law of God was given to regulate marriage from the beginning, and it is still binding upon man today. That law reads: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). When one breaks this law it is sin. "For sin is the transgression of the law" (1 John 3:4). If both the man and woman are guilty, and they often are, God is displeased with both; but if only one in the union is guilty, the other is not to be held responsible for the sin and is not punished with the same consequences of sin that the guilty is. This law governing marriage has been incorporated in every one of the three great dispensations of time. Under the law of Moses this law was broken, and because of the hardness of the hearts of the people God suffered divorce for many causes, but it is not so in this age, nor was it so in the beginning. We see from Deuteronomy 24:1-4 that Moses permitted the giving of divorce for various causes. If a man was not pleased with his wife because of some uncleanness, he could give her a writing of divorcement and send her away and she could be married to another. But in this age we must look to Christ only for instruction because he is the giver of a new and better covenant (Matt. 17:5; Heb. 1:2). We are no longer under Moses neither indeed can be. In Matthew 5:31-32 Jesus, in his sermon on the mount, makes his contrast between what Moses taught and what he taught. "It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." Now, for a brief analysis of this statement. There was a sharp division among the Jews on the subject of divorce. A part of them held that a man could put away his wife "for every cause" (Matt. 19:3). Others did not believe one could divorce his wife but for one cause -- fornication. Jesus gives his teaching on the subject. We see in this passage the words "fornication" and "adultery" used interchangeably, for how could the restricted meaning of "fornication" be applied to married people? Jesus said: "Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication . . ." A married woman committing fornication. The putting away of the wife tempts her to commit adultery or fornication, therefore, she cannot be put away except for the given cause -– fornication. The enemies of Christ, the Pharisees, asked him this question: "Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?" (Matt. 19:3). He answered them by showing the intention of marriage from the beginning, then another question follows: "Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?" (Matt. 19:7). "He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: BUT FROM THE BEGINNING IT WAS NOT SO" (Matt. 19:8). Christ shows here the contrast between the law in the beginning and what God SUFFERED under Moses. This shows the first two dispensations of time and the regulations of marriage. Now, Jesus gives his command regarding the same union for the Christian age, or present time, in verse 9. Remember that Jesus is the One to whom all must give attention in the church in this age, not Moses. Whatever Christ taught on any matter is perfect truth; no inspired man ever contradicted him. Hear him now: "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, EXCEPT IT BE FOR FORNICATION, AND SHALL MARRY ANOTHER, committeth adultery; and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Matthew 19:9). "Fornication" is used here for infidelity or unchastity. When one is unfaithful to his companion and enters sexual relations with another, that one commits what is here called "fornication" or unchastity. All accepted versions of the Bible show this to be the meaning. The Greek word "Porneia" as used here is translated by Greek scholars by the words "whoredom," "unfaithfulness," "unchastity," or "fornication." That is the exception of Christ that grants divorce. Jesus states the law from the beginning: "Whosoever shall put away his wife . . . and shall marry another, committeth adultery; and whosoever marrieth her that is put away doth commit adultery." That law governs marriage today. No man can put away his wife for every cause in the sight of God. But Christ did give ONE exception to this law. If language means anything, Jesus' exception is fornication or whoredom. Christ was talking about more than just divorce; he was talking about divorce AND REMARRIAGE. He said, "Whosoever shall put away his wife (divorce), except it be for fornication, and shall marry another (remarriage) committeth adultery." The remarriage exalts the sin. But what if he puts away his wife FOR fornication and shall marry another? Has he committed adultery? If so, why the language "except it be for fornication?" Let us turn to Luke 13:3 and read a like passage. "I tell you, Nay, but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish." Now what law did Jesus give here? What is stated? Here it is: "Ye shall all likewise perish." Why? Because of sin. Men are condemned because of sin, therefore, they will perish. But did Jesus give an exception to this rule or fact? Hear him: "EXCEPT YE REPENT ye shall all likewise perish." Then those who repent will not perish. In simple language Christ taught this: All men will perish because of their sins, but if they will repent they will not perish. Now back to divorce and remarriage. In the same simple English language Jesus taught this: No man can divorce his wife and remarry without committing the sin of adultery, unless he divorces his wife because of her whoredom or unfaithfulness to him. If the cause for divorce be fornication, he can remarry another and not commit the sin of adultery. Now what about the one who is guilty of fornication? Can that one remarry without sin? Listen to what Jesus said: "And whoso marrieth her that is put away doth commit adultery." There is no exception to this rule, so the guilty one cannot marry again without the sin of adultery hanging over him throughout life. The guilty one must remain single - live in complete celibacy - the remainder of his or her life to be saved. That is what the Bible says and I have no right to go further. Whoso marries one that is put away for fornication commits adultery also. If any man and woman who are now married want to be saved from suffering that is sure to come from divorce and remarriage, let them learn what the Bible teaches on the subject and strive to live in accordance with its teaching. Sooner or later someone inquires about those outside the church divorcing and remarrying and then becoming Christians. Will their sin of adultery continue if they remain married after one divorces from another when they obey the gospel and become Christians? A common error here is in supposing that God has two different laws on marriage: one for Christians and one for non-Christians. The law of marriage that we have just examined is universal and applies to all men and women, whether Christians or not. All sins will be forgiven in obedience to the faith if one repents of the sin and refuses to live longer in it. When a divorced person marries another they continue to live in adultery as long as they live together. Divorce is sinful in every case on the part of someone. God hates divorce. God's law from the beginning was one man for one woman, and that the two become one flesh and cleave to each other as long as the two shall live. Any deviation from this law is bound to be sin on the part of one or both. "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." The problem of laxity in marriage and divorce is growing with each generation. A great deal may be said about this matter, but unless young people get the proper idea and view toward the marriage vows, they will continue to become entangled in marital mix-ups. The places of entertainment, social gatherings, much of the modern literature and even parental teaching tends to lead the young people to count divorce and remarriage of little consequence. This question demands frequent attention, because so little attention is shown toward it, and then so many people are involved in divorce proceedings. I should like to record, in closing this little volume, a few verses from the Bible that give us some light on this important and lasting subject. In Matthew 5 and 19, Christ contrasts what Moses taught, or rather suffered, with what he (Christ) teaches. The contrast is not altogether about the marriage itself, but about divorce and remarriage. Moses permitted a "putting away" for any cause, Christ limited the "giving of divorce" to only one cause-fornication. He did not mean pretended fornication, but infidelity to the marriage vows. Nor did Christ give an exception to the guilty one in marriage to remarry. Christ said: ". . . and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Matt. 19:9). Occasionally young people will ask, "How can one know when fornication is the cause of the divorce?” The surest and only way is to have that reason stated on the divorce papers. If the evidence is strong enough to obtain divorce in court for that reason it is pretty good evidence. But some argue that because no apostle after Christ gave an exception in divorce to remarry, no cause for divorce and remarriage is permissible. Paul, an apostle, mentions this subject twice, and neither time did he allow the exception that Christ gave. Certainly we cannot accept the theory that Christ and Paul are at variance with each other. Paul says: "For the woman which hath a husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth, but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man." The mistake in applying this passage of Scripture to marriage, divorce and remarriage is evident by observing the subject of Paul here. He is not speaking of divorce and remarriage, nor is he teaching the principles of marriage in point. He only uses the marriage contract to illustrate a point on his subject -- the abrogation of the law of Moses. He is not teaching so much on the bonds of the union as he is on the freedom from obligations when the mate is dead. He only speaks of marriage as it was in the beginning, showing that at death one is freed of obligations. In parallel he shows that we are free from the law by the death of the law, so that we may be married to another – Christ. But in First Corinthians Paul is teaching on the subject of marriage. A careful reading of 1 Corinthians 7 will do all married people good. But now in verse 39 Paul says; "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord." In this chapter the apostle is not dealing with the subject of divorce and remarriage as was Christ in Matthew 5 and 19, but was giving instructions to all concerning the marriage union. If Christians cannot live together in the marriage union, let them depart (separate) but remain unmarried, or be reconciled (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). After giving many instructions for various circumstances, he concludes by giving the law for marriage as it was in the beginning: one man and one woman until death separates them. Christ taught that a man must leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh (Matt.19:5). Paul did not teach that in 1 Corinthians 7. Does that mean that this is not binding upon us today? Certainly not. Had Paul taught that there is no divorce for any cause, then we would have a conflict between Paul and Christ. But that is not the case. The laws of no state override the laws of God and make them void. Every man and woman will answer to God in the judgment for his conduct here, and God is able to know the very intents of the heart and every motive, even in marriage. Precaution before marriage and understanding of its design will go far to eliminate the sin of divorce and remarriage.
Credit H.E. Phillips and HEPhillips.org
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