What's Wrong With Modern Marriage? Chapter 2, Book by H.E. Phillips: Study the Bible on the Internet. Bible study, sermons, articles, podcast, books, topical index, bio.

When marriage is understood as God intended it, and when young men and women enter marriage with determination to fulfill its demands, the success of happy marriage will be realized. I believe the most profitable method to approach this matter would be to answer some questions that revolve around the question: What Is Marriage?

Marriage is not just a legal way to express sexual drives. The fact that many marriages are entered with this idea explains why there are so many divorces. True enough, marriage includes this in its purpose, but it is not the ONLY purpose. The writer of the Hebrew letter had this to say: "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Heb. 13:4). Marriage is not just an expression of sexual lusts.

Marriage then must be a great thing, involving the lives of two people. It is the blending together of two lives -- two personalities of opposite sex -- for as long as the two shall live, building a home respecting both God and man. This is much larger than appears on the surface. The blending together is a difficult task, requiring the willingness and sacrifice of both parties entering the marriage. Being two personalities of opposite sex, the task is greater because of the difference in the society of each. The life long proposition ought to suggest a careful planning of both man and woman. No two people ever took a greater obligation upon themselves than in the marriage obligation. The building of a home under the guidance of God which is a credit to man is of a most tremendous nature. With such in view we can certainly see the grave need for planning with design. We can see the danger of impetuous marriages: the downfall of hasty marriages. We can also see why the marriage vows should be respected. Suppose we consider for a moment the vows taken in marriage.

In about every marriage ceremony certain questions are asked and each party is required to answer. Usually the questions run in about this manner: "Mr. . . . do you take this woman whom you hold by the right hand to be your wedded wife, to love her above all others?" To this he answers, Yes! He has pledged to hold her in love above all others on earth. But he does more: "

". . . To cherish her in sickness and in health: in poverty and in wealth?" Yes, he agrees to do all this! Every divorce breaks these vows. ". . . That you will honor her as your wife?" How does he answer? Yes! He agrees before God and man to honor her as his wife as long as the two shall live. How can a man make such a solemn promise and then allow the trivials of life to cause him to break his word? How can he ever face another preacher or authorized person and before God and man repeat that oath again for another woman while the first is still living? What has happened to his honor and dignity?

". . . To comfort her and provide for her the necessities of life as long as you are able. That forsaking all others, you will be faithful to her, conducting yourself toward her in all respects as a dutiful and affectionate husband until God shall separate you by death?" His answer is Yes! Think of it! All this he promises to do UNTIL GOD SEPARATES THEM BY DEATH. But thousands of men forsake that solemn vow within a matter of months or years. What would be justice to such a deceiver? That is the reason we contend for purpose in marriage: it requires such solemn promises by both.

But what does the woman promise to do? Is she free from obligations and promises? "Miss . . . Do you, in the presence of God and these witnesses, solemnly declare that you will take this man who holds you by the right hand to be your lawfully wedded husband?" What is her answer? Yes! If she said No, there would be no marriage. ". . . To love him above all others? To keep him in sickness and in health; in poverty and in wealth?" She answers yes to all this. ". . . Do you promise to trust and obey him in all things consistent with God's will?" Again she answers, Yes. ". . . That forsaking all others, you will be faithful to him, conducting yourself toward him in all respects as a dutiful and affectionate wife until God shall separate you two by death?" She answers, Yes. She has pledged herself to the man by her side before God and man. How solemn and serious is such a promise! How much each man and woman ought to ponder these vows and make them with understanding! It is far better never to marry than to lightly consider the marriage vows.

Hear what the Lord said about making vows: "When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools; pay that which thou hast vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay" (Eccl. 5:4-5). Again, "When thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the Lord thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee. But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee. That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as thou hast vowed unto the Lord thy God, which thou hast promised with thy mouth" (Deut. 23:21-23). God holds men and women accountable to these vows made in marriage.

Having promised to each other these things, the preacher or official quotes this wonderful passage from God's word: "What therefore God has joined together let not man put asunder." Man cannot put asunder what has been joined together by God. No contract is more binding than the marriage relation.

But the making of the vows is only the beginning of marriage. There is before them the matter of adjustment in this new relation. The problem of making a home suitable to both begins. It is another step in the personal obligation of each and cannot be deferred by either.

If we could impress youth with the seriousness of marriage vows and the permanency of the union, we could make wonderful progress in restoring the marriage to what God intended in the beginning. Marriage begins when the laws of God and man have been complied with, and it should end when one is taken in death. It should not be tampered with as if a game.

Go to the next chapter.

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What's Wrong With Modern Marriage?
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